My thoughts at 4:00......am

It's 4:00 am and I can't get back to sleep.....so here is what is on my mind..............

Most of you know the struggles that Mike and I have been having when it comes to starting a family.....yesterday we went in for our first blood work and ultrasound tests as we begin hormone treatment. Both of us want this so bad and it seems like everywhere we turn there are babies. Friends are having babies. People we know who are on their 2nd or 3rd....and not trying. While we are so happy for them and wouldn't wish misfortune on anyone it is so hard and I often ask myself.....why me?

Well I have come to a realization. Good things come to those who wait. I know those of you who know me are amazed that I am able to say that! I am realizing that there is something that God wants me/us to learn through this whole process. While we might think that we are ready right as this very moment to bring child into this world it might not be our time. I believe that our time will come......and I am hoping sooner then later!! It is often hard at times to keep up my faith, but I am constantly surrounded by family, friends and co-workers who are a constant support and are always there to remind me of that fact.

So as I continue to go to doctors appointments, get blood drawn, have uncomfortable ultrasounds, and give myself daily shots I know my time will come. And as we go through this Thanksgiving season I am thankful. Thankful that there is technology and doctors now that can help us begin our family. I am thankful for family. When this baby does decide that it's his or her time to enter the world, it is going to have an amazing family to enter into. While it might be a crazy family with many quirks... I know that it is going to be one that it will learn to love and appreciate as Mike and I have over the years. And I think most of all I have a wonderful husband to go through this with. Thank you for going to doctors appointments that you were quite 'ready' for, taking care of 'situations' when I was over my limit and not judging me when I melted down, offering to give me shots when all you really wanted to do was run in the other room and most of all for continuing to love me and care for me through this whole process. I know that I couldn't do this without you.......literally and figuratively! When this little one does decide to make his/her appearance he/she is going to have an amazing dad. Love you.